I’ve been thinking lately about who I am and why my personality is what it is.
When I was in high school, I was pretty much a robot - focused on school and sports and not much else.
I was somewhat confident, but that didn't translate into social skills. I figured the same thing would continue in college.
Then it happened...
My life would be changed forever when a motivational speaker spoke at my school at a freshman orientation event. I can still picture myself sitting in the school auditorium and listening to the talk.
The speaker said:
"There is nobody in the world who EVERYBODY likes. So why are you worrying so much about what people think of you? So my attitude is IF YOU LIKE ME, THANKS. IF YOU DON'T, HAVE A GOOD DAMN DAY.'"
In other words, be yourself and be at peace with the fact that some people will like you and some won't.
I realized that my lack of social skills were caused by an excessive concern about what people thought about me.
The logic of his statement set me free and sparked a lifelong study of social skills and eventually all things communication.
By the end of college, I was becoming a confident, hardcore never-met-a-stranger, people person. After taking numerous public speaking-heavy classes, I decided to become a high school teacher - a job that is heavy on public speaking and social skills.
I was completely transformed.
I should add this disclaimer: committing to being yourself is not a license to be a jerk all in the name of "doing you." That is not what this is about. It should be a combination of being authentically you AND trying to be a good person. When you do both of those things, you can be free to relax and feel good about who you are and how you act.
I totally bought in to what that speaker said that day, and I still do.
You Can Do It Too
If you want to improve your confidence, you might want to consider changing your mindset in the same way I did.
My attitude is that I am going to be me.
I'm going to try to be a good person.
And if you like me, thanks...
I love the study of communication and social skills and I love helping people improve their own skills. I will be answering questions and giving advice for both personal and professional situations in this blog.
©2021 Doug Campbell Training, LLC. All Rights Reserved.