TIPS for...
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starting a conversation
Master The Throwaway Comment
Comment on t-shirt writing or other things that stand out Read a book in public so you have a conversation starter Don't Start A Conversation With A Contradictory/Apologetic Comment Put away headphones and stop looking at your phone when you are around people Be open to conversations Don't start a conversation with a stranger by introducing yourself unless you are at a social function Wear or carry things that would inspire people to start a conversation with you Shirts with writing, read a book, etc Memorize a few ice breaker comments Make starting a conversation easy with observational comments, complements, or even just "how are you" Eavesdrop on conversations to find a way to make a comment Never approach a stranger with an uptight type opening like the phrase "I have a question during a conversation
Focus on adding value to your conversations
Don't ask a million questions Make Other People Comfortable Give people your undivided attention Try not to interrupt people Be aware of other people’s comfort level during conversations Don't Be Afraid To Talk To Strangers Genuinely be interested in people when you talk to them ending a conversation
Know how to end a conversation smoothly (nice talking to you, meeting you, etc.)
Look for signals that the person you are talking to want to end your conversation Learn to use body language to show you are interested in ending a conversation public speaking
Focus on what you can do for your audience
Commit to being yourself Overcome nerves from public speaking by realizing it's not important in big picture Know your content frontward and backward Act like an authority Don't overact Lighten up - if it's appropriate Overpractice Have fun Be well rested before giving a speech Look your audience in the eye occasionally Handle mishaps calmly and casually Don't chew gum when you're public speaking Avoid using analogies – most people mess them up Be careful "comparing" things or people to something with a horrible reputation on the phone
Imagine that you are friends with the person you are talking to
Don't play audio on your phone in public Don't use your phone at the dinner table Text like you talk – answer fast, don’t just leave, etc. Use good manners on the phone Always say hello and goodbye Don’t be too casual Be positive and friendly Avoid sarcasm when you are texting or emailing unless you know the person REALLY well social comfort
Have a "no agenda" mindset
Seek inner peace Be authentic in all social situations Don't put too much pressure on any one situation Lower stress by counting blessings Improve your stranger approach skills by talking to people wherever you go Be casual whenever possible Eliminate the fear of embarrassment Remember that you can always walk away from a conversation if someone gets rude or boring Don’t fear awkwardness Awkward is in your head. Get enough sleep and take naps Embrace risk taking Don't worry about things outside your control Keep your self-talk positive Don't label yourself as an introvert or extrovert Act confident Be fanatical about caring AND not caring what people think of you Try to find a place to lean on at social events Don’t be embarrassed to go out solo Don’t feel like you have to be the life of the party Pretend like you are already great friends with everyone you meet Have a "Hang Out" Mindset Find your inner peace Study methods of reducing social anxiety general social wisdom
Mingle anytime, anywhere Don’t feel obligated to explain why you can’t go to something Avoid talking to strangers in loud places Use sarcasm to show that you aren't intimidated by someone (in person only) Don't walk with your head down Handle a kidder/trash talker without emotion Never give people the robotic "I'm fine, how are you" answer Forgive and forget as much as possible Don’t get into arguments or heated debates over stupid stuff Volunteer at a retirement home Be unemotional when someone insults you, challenges you, or gets aggressive Don't say anything digitally that you wouldn't want to be made public Take a nap before going out Avoid strangers who are drinking heavily Apologize when you mess up. NOT when you don’t mess up Constantly look for opportunities to sharpen your social skills Go to everything you get invited to if you can |
social media
Answer and/or “like” when someone takes time to comment to you
Don’t get into arguments online Never post anything after you have had a drink Don’t use “likes” to try to flirt with someone Don’t overread someone else giving you “likes” on social media Don’t bash your bf or gf with generalized bad behavior comments No full disclosure of every thought Avoid naming names in an insulting way. Even for celebrities Don’t use your social media page as your personal therapy arena Don’t follow and then quickly unfollow just to gain followers yourself. Don’t base your self esteem on your social media followers and "like" numbers integrity/manners/class
Do what you say you are going to do
Don't use no answer as your "no" answer Don't break plans casually Respect old people Say “excuse me” if you bump into someone Know how to take a compliment - say thank you and be quiet. Be considerate of others (holding doors, picking up things they drop, etc ) Hold doors open for people when you can, say thank you when they do it for you Don’t “ghost” when you aren’t interested in talking to someone Tip wait staff one more dollar than you think is the right amount likability
Be Positive
Don't Be A Complainer Don't Be a Sugar Blower Don't be a try hard Don't be a busy body Be friendly without being fake Don’t be a close talker When in doubt, always choose the classy move Go above and beyond with your classy moves Be kind Don't Hover Like a Helicopter Remember people's names and use them Keep your car clean Have good posture Don't tell everyone about your problems Bad breath tips – stay hydrated, get extra lemon in water, floss Don't Try To Be Cool Be decisive Be humble Don't tell stories about the times you were drunk Keep your hands away from your face Dress your age Don’t be clingy to your friends or date in social situations Be Fun But Don't Be a Clown Slow down (movement, speech, etc ) Answer emails and texts quickly Have a Little Swagger Treat Everyone You Meet Like They Are Important Don’t use a person’s first name unless introduced networking
Don't stay with one person for more than 5 minutes
Move on quickly when there is no interest Have your 30 second pitch ready Ask about the other person before you talk about yourself Don't give your business card out immediately Don't flirt or joke inappropriately Read body language Just be careful not to over read Know how to end a conversation gracefully Limit the amount of alcohol you drink Don't think of every interaction as pass/fail Dress well Fight bad breath by staying hydrated Pretend like you are already great friends with everyone you meet Don't be afraid to walk up to groups of two or more people talking Talk to people who are alone Write reminders to yourself on the back of business cards you receive Arrive on time. Stay as long as you can Send an email within 24 hours of getting contact info Don't wait for official networking events to network. Do it wherever there are people Make introductions to help others Don't talk to your friends or people you know for long Don't force yourself into conversations Read body language or wait to be invited in Don’t drink alcohol on an empty stomach social skills at work
Don’t publicly insult your coworkers
Don’t complain publicly about your boss Return work emails, calls, and texts ASAP Be careful about talking politics and religion at work Don’t tell inappropriate jokes at work Always follow through with your promises at work Don't be the type who tries to get business by buttering people up. Lower work stress by counting your professional blessings. Separate yourself from the competition by going above and beyond with your class and giving attitude Don’t believe the idea that you have to be cut throat and dishonest to be successful in business is a myth. Don’t break/change plans at work if at all possible. Smile and be friendly when you work with the public, even if you are in a bad mood. Make your customers or clients feel like they are important. Don’t complain about you problems around customers. No unsuspecting therapists Always have good phone manners at work Don't put too much pressure on any one business deal Dont drink too much coffee, soda, or alcohol before professional events Don’t be intimidated by anyone in professional situations Job Interview – Have the mindset that you are interviewing them too eye contact
Use eye contact to show confidence and trustworthiness
Don't be weird about eye contact (no 0 or 100 %) Don't Be An "Eye Contact Avoiding Zombie" Make eye contact with everyone you pass by dancing
Don't worry about being a bad dancer Most people are
Keep your movements small Remember that a dance is not a date Don't make a bigger deal of it than it is Don't ask a stranger for more than a dance or two in a row unless you are really hitting it off |